Current mood:	complacent
Current music:	Towa Tei -- Dub Nova

no use sitting around
My meetings went much better yesterday so I was in good spirits so I decide to go see Bela again since Jan is getting a bit tired of me sitting around the apartment, making long distance phone calls, trying to track down that ass Renaldo who has all my money and is living the high life on some fantastic island somewhere for all I can tell because he is impossible to find. So I bring some food over to Bela's because she is tired from work and I give her a foot massage, which she seems to really enjoy and that makes me feel happy to be such a good boy. Ha! She can tell I am lonely in New York a bit so she asks me many questions about my life and I end up telling her more about me, we are becoming good friends and lovers, I don't know whether we are very well suited, but I do enjoy the time I spend with her. I guess I should just live in the moment about all this, it is fun. Hum, though I notice she has a lot of distinctive moles on her body, big ones, at first I find them sexy, but now I wonder why she has so many? I have never seen so many moles, really, it is quite unusual. I wonder if they will become the kind of attribute you don't like after a time of dating someone. I remember this girl I dated, had this funny way of eating where she slurps her food, like a little baby, at first I found this cute and somewhat endearing, after a few weeks, I had to hold my hands not to wring her neck every time she ate like that. Why do you do that? I finally asked her, and she got so mad at me for noticing that she broke up with me. Ha! Sometimes I tend to say anything that is on my mind, this is good and bad, but sometimes what is on my mind is pure rubbish and I should just keep my mouth shut i think. I am sometimes even confused by my own reactions to people, and this doesn't get easier as I get older.